Proud: We Are, Are You?
Dorothy Allison, an award-winning editor for Quest, Conditions, and Outlook—early feminist and Lesbian & Gay journalist. https://www.dorothyallison.com writes:
“Two or three things I know for sure and one of them is that telling the story all the way through is an act of love.”
We read each page of Our Silent Voice: Break the Silence and the new submissions for Fierce, Brave, and Loud. We honor the great acts of love that can be experienced in this anthology. Love.
Marie: I’ll just say it: I’m learning pronouns. I felt inadequate and awkward at first like I should already know more than I do. But as I let myself be honest, and just admit I am not good at this yet, I experience acceptance and I learn more.
In a store the other day, I referred to someone as “him”. And then I skipped a beat, and turned and said, ‘No, I’m sorry. Wait. What are the pronouns you prefer?’ I was nervous because I didn’t know what would happen next. What I got was a big warm smile. They said, ‘ Oh no, you’re fine. I’m really pretty fluid…’ and I loved that. We talked. It was genuine, and it was joyful. The moment is a standout, happy moment for me.
So, proud? Yep. You bet. It’s Pride Month all around.
We, Our Silent Voice, celebrate Pride Month and advocate for the rights ever so easily taken away. And together we mourn the losses.
Janet: I recently I read an article by Phillip Henry @ https://them.us/story/how-gay-men-normalize-sexual-assault
“As we’ve built fences to protect us from the hatred of the outside world, we’ve forgotten the need to protect the people inside of it as well.”
He talks about the world that accepts assault as a normal part of club life. The crotch-grabbing that would drive the male-on-female world into a frenzy. Why is that a normal expectation with gay men? Henry notes that the gay community has trouble confronting assault because victims can be perpetrators. Also, he notes, that sexual expression is a huge part of gay culture.
I think we may differ in our expressions. We, cis females, are blamed for causing assault. Why do some women cover their hair with scarves and wear modest clothing? The reason is men don’t want to be attracted to the parts of women that could be a sexual expression. If we express, we become a target or “shame on you.”
I can’t imagine the backlash suffered by Queer-Gay-Bi-Poly-Trans humans when an assault is reported, but what I can imagine is ‘human.’ As individuals, humans suffer abuse and assault from the ones who hate, have power, and think “we” are the source of their problems and must be eliminated or taught a lesson. Or conversely, we who are tasty targets in the eyes of those dancing in a club.
If in the gay male world of clubbing when an assault is part of the expectation, what do we, who celebrate pride, have to say? What is the truth? And when we dare to finally tell it, is it loud, is it fierce, and brave?
What does it take to activate it?
In her brilliant memoir, Carmen Maria Machado states,
“I enter into the archive that domestic abuse between partners who share a gender identity is both possible and not uncommon, and that it can look something like this. I speak into the silence …”
Marie: As Carmen points out, when history documents the story of a queer past, it is usually through a straight lens. Since laws around domestic violence once defined abuse as between married couples, since then gays couldn’t marry, there’s a gap in the history of reporting of what is now known as domestic partner violence.
One of our contributors, E.A. Hines, an author in his own right, will donate proceeds from his debut poetry collection, Any Dumb Animal, to The Trevor Project. The Trevor Project is focused on suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth. Through a toll-free telephone number, it operates The Trevor Lifeline, a confidential service of LGBTQ-competent suicide prevention that offers trained counselors. It is of vital importance that when someone reaches out about assault or contemplates suicide, they can speak to someone who understands and does not question or judge.
We, in the human community of Our Silent Voice, state our stories should be written, read, and celebrated as a voice that is no longer silent.
We stand proud with the LGBTQ community. We grapple together with what is assault, who’s a perp, and who’s a victim. We want to hear your comments, your ideas and your experience.
Submit your story to Our Silent Voice: Fierce, Brave, and Loud