Talk About It
Hear about the movement, the books, and our unique stand to break the silence. New video every Friday!
Hear about the movement, the books, and our unique stand to break the silence. New video every Friday!
Janet and Marie talk about what it REALLY looks like to publish a book.
Janet and Marie talk about how shame silences all of us. We wonder when the #MeToo movement will happen in the LGBTQ community at large.
This week we interviewed Arien Reed, a pushcart nominee writer, an award-winning, multi-media artist who paints other trans people, a board member of Trans-E-Motion, and the lead organizer of "Fresno & Online Writers' Workshops" on Eventbrite. Their unpublished collections have been finalists for the Kore Press, Grayson Books, Press 53, and Inlandia poetry prizes, and his works have been published in Oberon, Florida Review, New South, Sonora Review, High Shelf Press, Allegory Ridge, and others.
Arien has submitted to our second anthology "Fierce, Brave, and Loud". We’re proud of that! We asked a series of questions, and the interview was very insightful. Look for our profile and Q&A.
Trauma is not exclusive to women or men, but in the LGBTQ community it is different only because we label it that way, and when we label, we de-humanize. Beginning in the hours after the elementary school massacre in Uvalde, Tex. social media churned out “The shooter was an illegal immigrant! No, he was transgender!” A person tweeted that the gunman was “a transsexual leftist illegal alien”
According to The Williams Institute at UCLA, “LGBT people are nearly four times more likely than non-LGBT people to experience violent victimization, including rape, sexual assault, and aggravated or simple assault.” https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.ed...
We can’t imagine the backlash suffered by a Trans human, but what we can imagine is ‘human.’ As individuals, humans suffer abuse and assault from the ones who hate, have power, and think “we” are the source of their problems and must be eliminated or taught a lesson. Our truth, when we dare to finally tell it, is loud. It’s fierce and it’s brave.
How hard do we have to be pushed to activate it?
Read more about it: https://jimhopper.com/
My research, clinical work, teaching, and consultation have focused on the psychological and biological effects of child abuse and sexual assault: https://1in6.org/
If you’re a man who has experienced sexual abuse or assault, you’re not alone. We’re here to support you in your path to a happier, healthier future: https://1in6.org/helpline/
This free and anonymous helpline is available 24/7, for men who’ve experienced sexual abuse or assault and for those who care about them: https://malesurvivor.org/
Where men join together to overcome sexual trauma: https://www.rainn.org/articles/adult-...
If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, you may encounter a range of short- and long-term effects that many survivors face.
We don’t want the month close without mentioning its mental health awareness month. We take a moment to talk about our questions and wonder how to honor those of you who may be managing a difficult diagnosis. We do salute those of you who deal with this unspoken struggle. One of our future Blogs will tackle the topic of mental illness and the ways in which it intersects with abuse. We looked at three books, “American Anonymous” B. Denizet-Lewis, “The Urge” C Erik Fisher, and “Clean” David Sheff.
Here are some links for you to follow further:
https://mhanational.org/terms-know-me...
https://mhanational.org/mentalhealthf... https://screening.mhanational.org/men...
It is never too early to seek treatment; you deserve to get it. And, no matter what kind of mental health condition someone is facing. It’s always possible to recover.
We want to hear from you – what do you think should we talk about with regard to mental health, abuse, and addiction?
“If you let me, I can turn you straight.” – this is what one boss said, to be ‘helpful.” At work, our LGBTQ peers/colleagues/loved one’s experience disturbing and sometimes severely distressing remarks and reactions. Discrimination is rampant, and even higher among LGBTQ people of color. What do we accept? What do we tell ourselves is “not that bad” – how much do we tolerate in order to exist/survive/remain employed? In a report titled LGBT People’s Experiences of Workplace Discrimination and Harassment by the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, School of Law. found that 46 percent of LGBTQ workers reported receiving unfair treatment at some point in their careers because of their sexual orientation or gender identity —" Reported in Out News, Sept. 8, 2021, 11:01 AM CDT https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-n... The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) is responsible for enforcing federal laws that make it illegal to discriminate against a job applicant or an employee because of the person's race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy, transgender status, and sexual orientation), national origin, or age. The human Rights Campaign has a website designed to provide this info : https://www.hrc.org/resources/yeo.
We’re talking about it because Submissions are open for Fierce, Brave, and Loud. They’re closing in July so we can get ready for publication in the Fall of 2022. Writing is a healing process, and your story deserves to be heard. Take control of your narrative. Many sources from Freud to Oprah say writing your trauma is healing.
Send poems, short stories, carrier pigeon messages, or whatever else gets your words on paper. We want to hear your voice, and above all else, to remind you that you are not alone. You can write anonymously, with a nom de plume, in the name of a sci-fi character, or your great-grandmother. I love my grandmother’s name Lalan Layde Anthony. Someday I’ll use her name, but for now we want you, however you name yourself.
Marie and Janet join to talk about their approach to writing trauma. They address how they take tough subjects and approach them from a different POV.
The two books they're reading are "The Body Keeps the Score", Bessel van der Kolk, and "Unclaimed Experience: Trauma, Narrative, and History", Cathy Caruth. They attended the Virtual and Live event Writefest. From "Writing Through Trauma :Writing Micro and Flash Fiction", through "Bad Writing Tips: Myths and Truths", the writing festival was intense and thrilling!
At a party Marie heard a man say he walked “it” off, not traumatized. His wife said, “he’s traumatized.” Is that unique? Where does the trauma go? Marie and Janet talk about how it’s running in the background. Janet shares how she had no idea it was doing that. Two marriages in, had no idea that the trauma made her choices for her.
How does workplace harassment impact the LGBTQ community? Janet and Marie talk about the Florida Law and don’t talk about gay? Marie shared her research that found over half employees interviewed about their experience of harassment said the harassment was based in religion. It’s endemic, in the air we breathe. We need to truth it up. When will there be laws to protect this community? We need to get to know you, we are not in your community, so share your story so we can hear you. We support human beings, all carbon-based units of all strips and dots. We are taught to survive and not make waves so let’s make waves, shall we?
Marie and Janet discuss Laura Beth Neilson’s stimulating book. They discuss how important it is to know the difference between Free Speech and Stalking. Is an implied threat stalking or are there other definitions? They assert we all hear, “guys will be guys” so it’s harmless Laura Neilson has a different interpretation. What they are writing. Marie is writing about the contagion of self-destructive addiction that takes out the whole family. It’s not like a lifetime movie. It’s not easy. They are ant-silence. Time to address bi-polar disease. In the past we couldn’t talk about cancer, or aids. Buy and read the book. They recommend Anita Hill’s book Believing. Remember Clarence Thomas?
Marie shares about her friend and the husband, who had her under his thumb. He said to her she’d never be a centerfold; her breasts were too small and her hips were too big. He changed the image in the mirror when she looked at herself. If you are under the spell get educated about the coercive control that comes with the narcissist.
Janet and Marie talk about the next book topics, our Kickstarter Campaign, we want you to submit, some topics to inspire Fierce Brave and Loud. Our assaults should be talked enough to elevate the conversation out of the realm of fame and celebrity. Forgiveness is radical because whomever assaulted you doesn’t remember, so forgive yourself for thinking you called it on yourself. We are anti silence. Our chapters also are location specific: work, church, camp. They suggest you have a list of what to do if you’ve been assaulted – a list of tips of what to do.
Marie, back after vacation, hints at exciting news at the end of the video. We wonder about incarcerated perps, can they be rehabilitated and Marie shares the Man Alive Program. But the stats according to RAIIN, only 25 out of 1000 charged are incarcerated. What do we do about the rest? Some perps have a background where all the men in their family use violence to correct women. Can we be prepared for this?
Janet and Marie discuss ways to protect against the 975 men charged with assault who are still out there. Maybe when the Violence Against Women Act VAWA is ratified then we can do more.
Marie and Janet talk about what it looks like to be free from the manipulation of an uncommunicated assault. We all want to make it go away but it’s still there just like machine, manipulating away. Janet talks about her marriages and how she had to reveal her trauma, finally in the third. They talk about trials and how the system has been to blame the woman’s behavior for the rape. She is the problem, but if we talked about that more often, maybe the things might change. The movement need to expand.
Janet is a single mic today and talks about gaining a footing in writing a trauma story. It’s a strong
foundation so you can write your story no matter what your internal voice says.
Tip: It’s not your mother.
She shares about the writing prompt in each newsletter, asks you to read the blog and get over what stops you. The submissions for Fierce, Brave, and Loud are open and we want to hear from you. Survival Isn’t Mandatory will be launched on March 9th. The promotion from the publisher, Ignite Press is being sent out. A reviewer asks, will this be a movie? Janet says, “If you’re scrolling through Netflix and see the movie, you’ll wish you read the book!” She reads chapter 21, "Driving Lessons".
Janet and Marie talk about how reading other’s stories can change the reader. It changes how we are informed about this subject and can have an impact on our culture. How workplace harassment impacts how we act and what we expect from others. We are on the defense. They found that writing about it makes a fundamental difference.