At Work: What Are the New Rules?

Why do we think we need to stay under the radar at work? Can we play fair?

There are rules and like most, in some circumstances, in some jobs, we must duck to keep our jobs. But first, let’s be clear about the rules:

Protected Classes are: race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), gender and gender identity, nationality, and age. 

Harassment is: severe and pervasive enough to affect the employee's ability to carry out their job.

Janet: We get it, but not all offensive behavior is unlawful sexual harassment, it’s unwelcome. It’s especially hard to know where to draw the line when you’re experiencing behavior in the workplace that you find obnoxious, disgusting, or frightening. Harassers sometimes argue that we enjoyed their words and actions.

I might question myself – did I hear that right?  I can keep working.

We also know if it’s unwelcome.

If I’m a teacher, or a nurse, or on the meat packing line where I might have to work elbow to elbow with my harasser, or worse, my rapist and they tease? That’s unwelcome.

What if you must report to duty and the one calling you to that duty is the one who’s hand was on your behind while he whispered his idea of fun? What if you’re a guy or trans or gay?  Unwelcome, clear, but what in God’s name do we do to make it stop?

Marie: We make it stop at the beginning. Where does it start? This is the root: The societal admiration among men about getting away with something. Our attitudes about sex as something to get away with. This is what we need to un-teach our kids. These are the things we should guard against.

One way to change this would be to better educate our children. Video games and movies perpetuate an attitude of macho supremacy that we all ultimately suffer with. Young kids are inundated with body image, being thin, and about plastic surgery! Helping our kids throw off the beliefs they unconsciously take on is important to our future.

Janet: Marie has a point. It is about victory, overcoming the enemy or the weak. If a guy isn’t macho enough for his co-workers or classmates, it’s hostile. If a female walks onto the production floor, she’s fresh meat even if she’s a six-foot-tall gay weightlifter who was known as a “he” in her childhood.  She is something to tap. Victory! That’s hostile!

According to Dr. Michael Messner, professor of sociology and gender studies at the University of Southern California, Some Men::Feminist Allies and the Movement to End Violence Against Women,

“Throughout the past four decades of anti-violence work, activists and the general public alike have grappled with how to understand the source of gender-based violence.”

Marie: When I was in high school, the office for my summer job was near my father’s. We met for lunch on some Fridays. In the elevator, on more than one occasion, I saw the glances. Other men would look at my dad as if to say, “You dog, you!”  not knowing I was his daughter. Not knowing I was only seventeen.

Okay. It’s not abuse. But here’s what that glance said to me at seventeen:  That lots of men would love to be going out to lunch with a young woman-not-their-spouse and hooking up. That most men admired my dad when they thought that’s what he was doing. That men always had an agenda running in their minds when they met me. My trust went out the door, my way of doing business with any man was skewed. I felt unsure about what was really expected of me, and my confidence waned. Those glances changed so much.

Janet: With a renewed focus on harassment at work, many men have been applauded for their stand against that and assault. In her article in the Stanford University’s The Clayman Institute for Gender Research, Apr 6 2016, Sandra Nakagawa writes:

“Messner also pointed out a number of contradictions that come into play in men’s efforts to prevent violence against women. For example, male allies report receiving both extra criticism of their work and extra credit for it, as well. The extra criticism takes the form of greater initial scrutiny about their motives for doing anti-violence work, such as suggestions that they were doing it just to meet women.”

NEW RULES

Pick Up Your Head, Don’t Bend.
Document - Tell - Report!

Write it down with dates.
Share with a trusted source – a friend – a family member.
Call free legal services.

Learn how to protect yourself from sexual harassment at the workplace.
By Sachi Barreiro, Attorney

Confront the Harasser

1. Initially, you can try telling the harasser to stop. Although this confrontation may be difficult for you, it is often the most effective way of dealing with harassment. Clearly saying you want the offensive behavior to stop is important, because it lets the harasser know that the behavior is unwelcome (which it must be to meet the legal definition of sexual harassment). It is also a crucial first step if you later decide to take more formal action against the harasser.

2. If the harasser ignores your oral requests to stop, or if you are uncomfortable talking to the harasser face to face, write a brief letter stating that the behavior offends you and must stop. Be sure to keep a copy.

3. If you are concerned for your personal safety or are afraid that the harasser might become more hostile when confronted, complain to a supervisor instead.

Complain to Supervisors

4.  If confronting the harasser doesn't end the harassment, check your company's employee handbook, personnel policies, or manual. Is there a sexual harassment or complaint policy? If so, follow it. If not, ask your supervisor or someone in the human resources or personnel department how to make a sexual harassment complaint. If you don't get the help you need, move up the chain of command to managers and executives, documenting along the way.

5.  Although it is often difficult to make a complaint at work, and you may prefer to skip this step, don't. The U.S. Supreme Court has said that employees who fail to use their employer's internal complaint procedure to make the company aware of sexual harassment, and to give the company a chance to stop it, may not be allowed to hold the company liable in a lawsuit. This means that you are likely to lose in court, should it come to that, if you don't complain within the company first.

Document your Complaint

6.  It’s very important to document what is happening to you, and what you are doing to try to stop it, should you ever have to prove your case to a company investigator, a government agency, or a jury.

7. Start by collecting as much detailed evidence as possible about the harassment. Be sure to save any offensive letters, photographs, cards, or notes you receive. If you were made to feel uncomfortable because of jokes, pin-ups, or cartoons posted at work, confiscate them -- or at least make copies. An anonymous, obnoxious photo or joke posted on a bulletin board is not anyone else's personal property, so you are free to take it down and keep it as evidence. If that's not possible, photograph the workplace walls. Note the dates the offensive material was posted, and whether there were hostile reactions when you took it down or asked someone else to do so.

8. Also, keep a detailed journal about incidents of harassment. Include the names of everyone involved, what happened, and where and when it took place. If anyone else saw or heard the harassment, note that as well. Be as specific as possible about what was said and done -- and how it affected you, your health, or your job performance. Keep your journal and notes at home or in a safe place outside of work.

9. Make sure you have copies of your performance evaluations and other important personnel documents. In fact, you may want to ask for a copy of your entire personnel le before complaining about a harassing coworker. Your records can be particularly persuasive evidence if your employer retaliates against you for complaining -- which is also illegal. For example, you'll want a copy of your records if you've had positive performance evaluations until you complain, and then your employer tries to transfer, demote, or re you, or claims your job performance is poor.

Complain to the government

10. If complaining to your employer doesn't help, the next step is to go to either the federal agency that enforces Title VII, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or to your state fair employment office. If investigation and settlement attempts fail to produce satisfactory results, you can file a civil lawsuit for damages under either Title VII or your state fair employment practices statute.

File with the EEOC

11. Even if you intend right from the beginning to le a lawsuit, you sometimes must first le a claim with a government agency. For example, an employee pursuing a claim under federal law must first file a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and a similar complaint procedure is required under state laws.

12. The EEOC or state agency may decide to prosecute your case on your behalf, but that happens rarely. More commonly, at some point, the agency will issue you a document referred to as a "right-to-sue" letter, which allows you to take your case to court with your own lawyer.

Note: that there are time limits for filing claims with government agencies and for filing a lawsuit, so be sure not to miss them.

For more information, check out “Your Rights in the Workplace,” by Barbara Kate Repa (Nolo).